Monday, May 10, 2010

How many people actually live up to the following standards of being a parent?

Every Child Needs: Home


1) Unconditional Love: physical and emotional warmth and closeness, through both good times and bad. In conjunction with an enduring sense of trust from both sides, unconditional love forms the foundation for a lifelong, mutually respectful, nurturing relationship between parent and child.





2) Validation: affirmation for a child's thoughts, feelings, ideas, efforts, and especially for his or her individuality as a human being. Validation begins with a parent's highly attuned attention. Through generous praise, recognition, appreciation, hugs, pats on the back, and so forth, a child comes to feel as though his or her feelings truly matter within the family unit. Feeling solidly supported by our families during childhood is the primary mechanism for the formation of healthy self-esteem in human beings.





3) Structure:an environment of ';healthy limits'; in which a child can grow and thrive. Good structure for children is a matter of balance. In order for them to feel emotionally secure and yet still have the freedom to grow, children need to experience age-appropriate, continually expanding boundaries as they mature. Nonoppressive, sometimes negotiable (where appropriate) limits are enforced with compassionate discipline, the ultimate goal being to teach children the arts of self-discipline and self-motivation.





4) Understanding: a child gains emotional security from knowing that he or she can make mistakes (even the mistake of behaving badly) without being shamed or degraded with excessive parental anger or harsh punishment. In this type of nurturing family system, parents understand that mistakes are an integral part of the learning process, and that children learn life's lessons more fully when they are guided with an ';empathetic hand.';





5) Healthy Modeling: consistent parental examples of emotional wholeness. We parents must show our children the way toward balance in life by modeling such things as emotional generosity toward others, calm and effective problem-solving skills (particularly in our dealings with them), healthy coping strategies in regard to our own daily stresses, and the ability to set goals and sustain our efforts in achieving them. For better or worse, our parental behavior is the most powerful life teacher for our children.





6) Challenge: age-appropriate incentives for a child to learn life's emotional and practical lessons at each developmental stage. In order to bolster our children's ability to problem-solve and achieve their goals, their minds need to be stimulated by learning new skills and overcoming obstacles. As we parents offer our children a wide variety of subject matter to explore, our use of encouragement and praise is key in sustaining their desire to master their world.





7) Inclusion: a sense of belonging to the family group, and to the community at large. A healthy attachment to the primary caregiver in childhood is the first way that children learn to feel like welcome and valuable members of the family group. This core sense of belonging is what enables children to move confidently into the world, and reach out to others in a spirit of good will and camaraderie. It is important for them to experience the satisfaction of having other people depend on them, as well, which is taught in the home by having each child be responsible for important family duties. In this way, our children will learn to be responsible to themselves, to their families, and to society.





When a child's developmental needs are met, he or she will naturally begin to experience:





Healthy Self-Esteem: core feelings of self-acceptance, self-confidence, and self-respect as an individual. A child develops healthy self-esteem when his or her feelings, ideas, and achievements are accepted, valued, and supported within the family unit over the long term. Unlike arrogance - which is often a coping mechanism for covering up underlying feelings of worthlessness - healthy self-esteem is the keystone to understanding, respecting, and valuing others.





Self-Actualization: a child's growing recognition of his or her unique thoughts and abilities throughout the maturation process. The prime goal of parenting is to prepare our children for independence in adulthood. We parents must therefore consistently encourage our children's journey toward autonomy, so they can learn to thrive ';without us,'; emotionally, materially, and spiritually.How many people actually live up to the following standards of being a parent?
theres alot of values there. you got some high standards parents. all i want is uncondititional love, thats all. i can decide how i want my body.How many people actually live up to the following standards of being a parent?
Sorry all that at all times is impossible..You can implement those things here and there but if you did it 24/7 you will end up with a touchy feely liberal who will cry at work because the boss was displeased with the work they did .... They will expect everyone everywhere to treat them that way as well.... There's nothing wrong with throwing in some harsh realities with truth.....It's no wonder why allot of young adults can't handle pressures and are lazy! Touchy feely never got anybody anywhere but doses of reality will help them handle the real world....
Wow !!!!!!


First of all....... are you writing a book


or what ?????????????????????


You have ( in writing ) practical and valid


understanding of the most 'perfect' environment


for a child........ but I'm afraid not realistically .


Any 'good' parent tries their level best to give


their child all of those qualities of a 'home life'.


Text book instructions such as ';When a child's


developmental needs are met, he or she will


'naturally' begin to experience:'; are not compatible


to reality in the 'normal' home life within the United


States.


But, in your wording I can hear Dr. Spock speaking


out from the grave......... whom 30 years after his


proclamation of child rearing admitted that he was


wrong.
they say it's impossible but i would have to disagree.. my aunt and uncle have a very lovely family (3 children) and a beautiful house and they both have great jobs which allow them to spend a lot of time with their kids. My aunt teaches children with mental disabilities so that also gives her the advantage of having more patience and my uncle is a state trooper so he has a lot of structure and he has always been very patient. Neither of them were born into wealthy families so getting to where they are now was just as hard as any other average American getting there. All of the kids are involved in activities. I've yet to hear any of them curse all though all kids misbehave sometimes. They are 3,4,and 5 years old. Their house is never a mess and they are all on an amazing schedule. They are always being positively reinforced and are unbelievable smart.............. i actually envy them because i have 2 younger brothers and i wish my mother could be as organized, patient, and interactive as them. i hope this answers your question.


i could ramble on and on about how much they love each other too and love to take pictures together and blah blah but i think you get the point..
I work in child welfare and i can tell you that i have yet to meet a family that provides all of these things...it is impossible...we would love to say we provide our child with everything they need...but to be honest if we did all that you describe...that child would never leave home...and when they did they would be destroyed in the REAL world. sorry but you are proposing something that is impossible for any parent.

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